Clear Mind, Broken Hearts
by abacon
Summary: Tyra gets an unexpected visit from the past and it throws her for a loop.


The buzzer rang just as Tyra was opening the fridge to see what she had to work with for dinner. Puzzled she padded to the speaker next to the door. It was exceptionally rare that anyone would just drop by her house unannounced.

"Hello?"

"Hey Tyra, you got some time for an old friend?"

Her heart skipped several beats. It had been quite some time since she had heard that deep thick drawl, but it was a voice that would always remain as familiar in her heart as if she heard it every day.

She buzzed him up without a word, afraid that her voice would betray her, come out small and shaky. The last thing she wanted was for him to know just how much of a spell he had over her – still.

It had been five years since she had last seen him, five years since she had laid it all out for him – how she loved him, how she always had and always would, but how nothing, not even that love for him, was enough to keep her in Dillon. She had plans for herself, and they were much bigger than the small Texas town that revolved around the high school football team.

Leaving him behind had been the right decision, and she would never regret it, but still there was that small part of hr that thought of him often and wished there was a way that she could have included him in this life she was building for herself.

Despite herself, Tyra's heart was racing wildly when she heard his fist on the door. Taking a breath, she tried to prepare herself for what was standing behind the door, or perhaps even more so, for what it would be like when he walked back out through that door.

She pulled it open and felt a rush of emotions that nearly knocked her over. Even though she knew he would be standing there, it was still an emotional shock to find Tim Riggins waiting outside her apartment.

He stood there in a plaid flannel shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes as they smiled at her in the smoldering way that had captured her heart from the start.

"Tyra," he gave a nod. His lips were curled at the sides in an amused smile, but nothing else gave any indication of how he felt seeing her.

"Tim," she gasped, her voice much breathier than she had intended. "What're you doing here?"

"Is that anyways to greet a friend?" he smiled mischievously, opening his arms.

"Of course not" she allowed herself to be enveloped in his arms for just a moment before pulling away from the muscular chest and arms that had the same calming effect over her as a security blanket had over a child. Quickly she pulled away, afraid to indulge too long, making I harder for her to let go in the end. She invited him inside.

"I was just about to make some dinner, you hungry?"

"Mmmm, sure! Whatcha makin'?"

Tyra looked into the fridge, helplessly. It'd been too long since she had last had a chance to go to the grocery store. "Um, pickles and…..butter."

Tim scrunched up his nose, "As delightful as that sounds how about you let me take you out instead?"

Tyra pondered it for a moment, but decided no harm could come from just dinner. Just two old friends sharing a meal, she rationalized, knowing deep down they were never just two old friends.

"You never answered by question," Tyra pointed out as soon as they were seated at a table of her favorite restaurant in Dallas.

"And what was that?" Tim asked, perusing the selection of steaks.

"What you're doing here in Dallas."

"I'm up here for a couple of days to try and work out a deal," he answered, eyes still locked on the menu.

"Tim," Tyra looked at him with a concerned stare. "You said you weren't gonna get mixed up in any funny business again."

He put the menu down so he could look her in the eye, it was almost too much for her to handle. "It's nothing like that, Tyra. Riggins' Rigs is doing very well and we're looking to expand. I'm up here to discuss buying a property about thirty miles outside Dillon from a man up here in Dallas. All completely legal.

She felt a pang of guilt at having assumed the worst in him, "Wow, that's amazing. I'm really glad to hear you're doing so well, Tim, really. You get your house built?"

He pulled a photo from his wallet," Oh yeah, been living in it almost four years now. Beautiful isn't it?"

And it was. In her hand, Tyra held the photo of red two story farm house. It had a wraparound porch and enormous windows intended, she assumed, to best soak in the view of all the rolling hills that made up his extensive plot of land

"It's gorgeous, Tim. I'm so proud of you."

He replaced the photon in his wallet taking a quick and adoring peek before closing it away as if it were a photo of his own child. "Well, I ain't making the kind of success you are up here with your degree and fancy city apartment, but I'm doing a'right."

She closed his hand in her own. She had no words to adequately explain to him just how proud she was to hear of his successes. Six years ago when he graduated from high school, no one had any expectations of him, and more importantly, he had no expectations of himself. Now she was looking at a completely different man, one who had made something of himself and was all grown up. It made her love him even more.

"It is something, Tim. It's something amazing."

Perhaps it had been the third glass of wine, or maybe it had been what she had subconsciously planning on the entire evening, but as they were headed out of the restaurant, Tyra heard herself inviting Tim back to her apartment.

When they were back inside the apartment, door safely locked behind them, he found her mouth with his. This was the last place she had wanted this evening to lead, but in the moment, the taste of his mouth, the smell of his skin so close to hers, it was impossible to resist.

Locked together, they managed their way through the small apartment to the bedroom in the back. He kissed her neck and tenderly ran his hands over her body. It was likely that she would come to regret this evening's indiscretion, that it would leave her feeling worse than before it had started, but she gave in to the moment, not wanting to miss what could possibly the last chance to spend the night with the only man she had ever truly loved.

"Good morning," he smiled sleepily as her eyes fluttered open. He was propped up on one elbow, his other hand gently grazing her arm.

For a moment, Tyra was confused. She felt a strange déjà vu, like she was back in high school waking up next to him just because that's how they always woke up. But then consciousness flooded back to her and she remembered that they were not in high school any more, and he was not the one who she was waking up with in the mornings anymore. With the clear mind of morning came a heart heavy with regret.

Still, when she was looking into his eyes, eyes that were trained on only her, she could not help but feel a warmth growing inside of her. Because no matter where her life would take her, when she was with Tim Riggins, she realized, she would always feel at home.

"Morning."

"I was thinking we could grab a little breakfast," he punctuated his sentence with a kiss on her bare shoulder.

"There are eggs in the fridge, how about we cook in?" she suggested.

They chatted over omelets, every once in a while feeding each other a bite. They sat as close together as the two chairs would allow, desperately trying to cling to one another, holding on for whatever time they had left.

At 10 he finally stood, clearing their dishes and washing them over at the sink. She watched as his well defined shoulders strained at this grey t-shirt. When he turned around, the playful look was gone from his face; a serious expression now replaced it.

"I gotta go, Tyra."

"So soon?" she tried to hide her disappointment. She was a strong woman, independent and smart. She didn't need anyone, but when it came to him, she was completely weak.

"I gotta go to that meeting. And if I don't get back to Dillon by this afternoon, Billy will probably have the whole place burned down to the ground or something," he tried to joke.

"Yeah," Tyra fingered the rim of her coffee mug, unable to look him in the eyes.

"But I'll call you, we really shouldn't go another five years before we see each other again," he smiled, approaching her.

He knelt before her, and she was forced to look at him. It was all she had not to break down right there. How could she bear to let him go again? , when he was right here in her grasp? He kissed her and squeezed her hand before straightening up and walking towards the door.

Tim began opening the door, but abruptly slammed it and spun on his heels, "Damnit Tyra, why don't you just come back with me?"

The assertiveness in his voice stunned her, and for a moment she had no answer. But then she regained her bearings and looked at him with sad eyes, "You know I could never do that, Tim."

"Why, is it 'cause I'm not good enough?"

Walking to him, she put her hands on his shoulders," No, Tim, you're the only who has ever been good enough for me. And I love you so much, but it's just not enough anymore."

"Well then, maybe I could move up here. We could open a Riggins Rigs in Dallas. Billy can take care of the shop at home-"

She cut him off with a sad shake of her head and a palm on his chest. Looking deep into his eyes, she said, "You'd never be happy in this city, love. You would resent me forever for taking you away from all your wide open dreams. Texas forever, remember?"

"Tyra-"

"Tim, please, just go," she opened the door for him, "Go make your dreams come true."

He looked to her, unsure, but then appeased.

Closing the door, she turned around, and collapsed on to the floor in tears.


End file.
